Dear Friends in Christ,

Be Ye Perfect.

This summary statement of the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5:48 has been a stumbling block for many. The choice of the English word “perfect” by translators is unfortunate. While “legally” accurate, other word choices are preferred.

The Greek word “teleios” doesn’t point in the direction of classical Greek perfectionism and flawlessness as much as it points towards “completeness, maturity,” and “reaching one’s intended purpose.”

In the background is Jesus’ own Hebraic tradition of “tanim,” which means “whole, complete, sound.” God’s words to Abraham in Genesis 17:1, “Walk before me and be tanim,” which means wholehearted devotion and integrity, not sinless perfection. The root word of “shalom,” meaning peace, means wholeness and completeness.

Teleios suggests setting our sights on developing and becoming. Continue to grow into what is within you that seeks completion, development, full blooming. This is 180 degrees different from the cold construct of a delusional ideal of perfectionism. Delusional because there is not such a thing unless you subscribe to the underlying tenets of mass marketing and conventional thinking that dictate the latest fad.

Alas, perfectionism pervades. Its legacy promotes continuous comparing of oneself to others unmercifully. It exhausts and dehumanizes.

As Richard Rohr says in Falling Upwards, “The demand for the perfect is the greatest enemy of the good.” It interferes with the ongoing discovery of what within you aligns with Jesus the Christ and is seeking its own birthing into life.

When I lived in New York City and Connecticut, I was aware of the rates of anorexia among teenaged girls. In the counties north of the city, Westchester in New York state and Fairfield in Connecticut, the rates of anorexia were six times the occurrence of this eating disorder in the rest of the country.

This meant that the pressure to have the perfect body was six times more intense than anywhere else. The spirit or the god of perfectionism was strong. This idol had power over many lives. This data reveals the inhumanity of insisting that everybody must conform to standards promoted in the media.

Perfectionism is no one’s friend. This anorexia story is emblematic of perfectionism run rampant throughout this society. It spreads shame and guilt.

All of this means that there is no such thing as having a “perfect Christmas.” Preferable is letting oneself dream and imagine a compassionate picture of gathered folk, relaxed and welcoming. Perfectionism that has intruded upon Christian spirituality deserves banishment.

Twelve Step spirituality with its pithy aphorisms helps: “Progress. Not Perfection,” and “Compare and Despair.” The latter is congruent with the Way of Christ. He said it in concluding and summing up his famous sermon, “Continue in my way as I have just now told you. Stay on track and let my teachings grow within you so that you might fulfill your intended purpose.”

Your fellow traveler,

—Richard Mallory