How long have you worshiped at Saint Philip’s?
Since February 2023.

Were you raised in a faith tradition?
I grew up very Roman Catholic; church was a part of every aspect of my life. Every part of our being in community was connected to church. For example, the priest and nuns would come over for dinner regularly.

And yet you left the church for awhile. Why was that?
I grew up with a clear message from the church and my parents that being queer isn’t ok. How I am isn’t ok. So when I left for college I stopped going to church. I needed space to let go of the messages I absorbed—and carried with me for years.

What brought you back to the church?
I did a lot of work in therapy to be able to return. I explored what it means to be queer and Christian. But I wasn’t sure how I would feel about stepping back into a church. I’d been back for funerals or different services but I hadn’t intentionally gone to a worship service since I was in high school.

So what inspired you to return?
I felt something was missing in my life without church.

What’s your experience been at Saint Philip’s
It’s been good—but it was definitely an adjustment. My church in Oakland, California where I grew up was entirely Spanish. But a lot of things in the liturgy are familiar, and I’ve felt very welcomed.

How are you involved at Saint Philip’s?
Grant Batchelder and I co-facilitate the 20’s & 30’s group that we started last year. We’re on a summer break right now but will resume with the new program year in September.

How did the 20s & 30s group come about?
Grant and I spoke with Mtr Taylor independently of each other and she brought us together. We were both interested in having a program that focuses on young adults.

We do something different every week of the month. We’ll attend Evensong and then meet up at Hop Shop afterwards. Or we’ll meet for a small group discussion after the worship service. This year we’ll also attend the forum that will be held on the fourth Sunday of each month. And we also volunteer one Sunday a month at El Rio Food Bank.

It’s been a good way to meet other people my age who I might not speak to during a service.

What do you do professionally?
I’m a social worker. I work at El Rio Community Health Center in its integrated pain clinic.

We practice traditional western medicine but focus primarily on non-opioid ways to manage pain and lifestyle changes. We incorporate behavioral health with western medicine so part of the work is that patients meet with a medical provider and behavioral health consultant – pain education, stress management, managing all the social and emotional things that come up with pain, and working with patients to identify healthy goals.

What do you like about the work?
I worked as a therapist before COVID but got really burnt out during the pandemic. What I like now is that I still provide support to patients but with less of the stress that was involved with therapy. I ultimately want to return to that but am enjoying the break now.

What’s a lesson you keep having to learn?
That assuming the best in people doesn’t mean I should ignore their actions. I’ve had to go through a few hard times to learn how to discern who my real friends are.

I still tend to give people lots of opportunities but I’m also learning to do what I need for myself and my well-being.

Why do you think this particular lesson is so hard for you?
I was raised to keep the peace–even if I disagree with someone. So learning to speak up for myself has been a struggle. But I’m much more confident doing that now than I used to be.

I’ve realized that I can say, “no,” and still be polite about it. I don’t have to be cruel or mean to set boundaries. But I do have to set boundaries.

What’s something that scares you?
Even though my job is working with people, I’m very much an introvert. New situations or new people can be scary so I definitely have to push myself to participate sometimes.

And as much as I need my alone time to recharge, COVID taught me that I need people and community.

Your job is stressful. How do you replenish yourself?
I got really into crafting during the pandemic because I needed something to do. I watched videos on YouTube and taught myself to cross-stitch and sew. I’ve now made a couple of baby quilts. My guest roomis my crafting room.

What’s something you’re proud of?
I bought my house two years ago. As a millennial I never thought I’d be able to do that. I used to hop from apartment to apartment and expected to do that forever. But I found a great first-time home buyers program and now I’m a homeowner.

Is there a decision you made that made a significant difference?
I’m the only one in my family to go to college and the first person in my extended family to move away from home.

I always knew I would leave to go away for college. There are really great schools in the bay area but I knew that I wanted to explore and experience what’s “out there.” Even in middle school I talked to my parents about going to the east coast.

How did your family handle your decision?
I left for college not knowing what my relationship with my parents would be. My mom dropped me off but didn’t visit until my junior year when she and my father came for a long weekend. They told me I had made a good decision. That helped them when I decided to attend graduate school. They were very supportive of that.

My dad especially changed his mind. His co-workers would say they didn’t want their children who were high school seniors to leave home. He would tell them, “No, you have to support them.” He did a complete 180.

Is there a place that formed you as much as any person?
Wellesley College. It was a very stressful four years but it was also a very formative time.

To this day, my closest friends are from my undergraduate years.

What’s one of your core values?
Everyone tells me that I have a pronounced sense of justice. I think that’s why access to housing is such a priority to me; I consider it a human right. It’s one of the reasons I chose to be a social worker.

I thought about different realms in the mental health field but landed on social work because so much of what a patient needs happens outside the four walls of an office. For example, access to food, water, and housing. I want to help people make a difference in their lives.

What’s one of your guiding principles?
That “No” is a complete sentence.

It’s been hard to learn that but I need time for myself. And learning to honor that has been life changing, especially given my work.

What’s something you’re grateful for?
A lot of people have shown up for me in different ways, and I’m grateful for those relationships which I’ve created and continue to foster. I have a really great chosen family.

What’s one of your super powers?
I’m naturally generous but I pay special attention to sharing my time. Even though I like—and need—my alone time, I’m willing to do pretty much anything and everything for the people I love.

What’s something about you that friends have said they really appreciate?
That I’m very loyal. I think it goes back to my sense of community. I put so much value in my chosen relationships and family, that I don’t see a difference between my immediate family and my chosen family.

What’s something on your bucket list?
I’ve always wanted to take a cross-country train trip. I’ve driven cross-country for moves but I want to take a leisurely trip on the train and see the country. I would love to have company but so far none of my friends have raised their hands.

What might people be surprised to learn about you?
I think most people are surprised to learn that I’m quite shy and introverted. I can be loud and colorful but my instinct is to be shy and reserved.

What’s a fun fact about you?
I love going to cat bingo. A cat lounge on Campbell called El Jefe has cat bingo on Sunday nights. And yes, it’s as chaotic as you imagine it would be!

Instead of “B5” the call is “domestic shorthair.” The card has all sorts of different breeds of cats. It’s my favorite thing to do when friends are in town.