First things first. How do you pronounce your last name?
Like the word, “major” but with a “p.”

How long have you worshiped at Saint Philip’s?
My husband, Mike, and I were parishioners from 2013 to 2015 but we left to attend Christ the King. Mike died by suicide in 2019 and that community really came together and helped me (and Brenden).

I returned to Saint Philip’s in June 2022.

What prompted your return?
The main reason was the presence of so many children. My son Brenden was getting older so I started thinking about Sunday School. It’s such a special offering here.

And the Parents’ Formation Group has been really important to me, too.

Since the pandemic I haven’t had much of a community of parents to talk to. It’s really nice to have a place where I can meet parents who have kids similar in age to Brenden or older so I can learn what our future might look like. Meeting parents who share similar religious views has been a really big help for me.

Were you raised in a faith tradition?
No. My parents were both raised religious to some degree but they didn’t want to force religion on my sister and me.

I attended an evangelical Baptist church in high school but left the faith during college because of the church’s views regarding the LGBTQIA+ community.

What led you to search for religion?
I was starting to question things and wanted to be part of something bigger than myself. A friend invited me to visit church with her. That started my path of exploration.

I was also looking for a place where I could belong. I didn’t have a lot of friends at school because it was hard for me to relate to people. I didn’t know it at the time but I’m autistic.

When did you learn you’re autistic?
I was almost 40 years old. Women often exhibit different traits for autism than men do. I always knew I was different but I didn’t know why; I thought there was something wrong with me.

But when I started doing more research and putting the pieces together, a light bulb when off. This is why I feel lost and feel so different. This is why it’s hard for me to make friends and relate to people. It was amazing to realize that it was related to being autistic.

It took a while for me to accept it, and it wasn’t something I used to tell a lot of people. But over time I have begun to embrace that this is how I am and there isn’t anything wrong with me.

What led you to the Episcopal church?
When my husband and I discussed returning to church together we agreed that it would have to be an affirming one.

My husband was raised Roman Catholic so we looked for a liturgical church. The Episcopal Church was a good compromise.

How’s the transition been?
It’s been good; I really like the Episcopal church. Prior to 2012 I hadn’t spent much time in a liturgical church. But the music and the meditativeness helps me connect with my faith more than listening to a praise band or an hour-long sermon.

And the stained glass and big window behind the altar and the incense “feel” like church.

What do you do professionally?
My current full-time job is taking care of Brenden. The state has a program that pays parental caregivers of disabled children.

Before Brenden was born I taught elementary school for 10 years. Around the time he was born I got my paralegal certificate from Pima Community College. Unfortunately I can’t use it because I can’t find day care.

How do you replenish yourself?
I have time for myself when Brenden’s at school or after he goes to bed. Those are times I can decompress a bit.

I like to read or do cross-stitch.

What’s cross-stitch?
Cross-stitch, so named because the main stitch involves making an “x”, requires transferring a pattern onto a cloth by counting and figuring out where the stitches need to go—as opposed to needlepoint where the pattern is printed on a canvas. Also, cross stitching only requires knowing two types of stitches.

My mom taught me how to cross-stitch. I make cute pictures to decorate the house.

What do you like to read?
Pretty much everything except horror and science fiction. I particularly like fantasy, memoirs, and historical fiction. I also like quite a bit of non-fiction; United States history is a particular interest.

Which team are you—physical book or Kindle?
Team physical book.

What’s something you’re proud of?
I’m proud of Brenden every day. He had a rough start medically—and continues to have some things here and there—but he’s resilient and has overcome so much. He just turned 7 years old.

He always has a smile. He’s incredibly trusting and he’s come a long way from where he started.

I’m also proud of the fact that I’ve been able to thrive as a single mom. It’s not easy at all. But I’ve been able to overcome my personal feelings of loss and focus on Brenden—and have done a pretty good job.

What’s something you’re passionate about?
Learning. I want to learn everything I can that maybe I should have learned in school but didn’t.

That’s where reading comes in. That’s how I like to learn best. People with autism tend to have special interests and so I read as many books as I can about mine.

What’s something you find challenging?
Being a single mom. I’m proud I’m managing it but it’s not without its challenges. Especially with a disabled child. I can’t have just anyone come and watch him. Finding someone who can watch him and meet his needs has been incredibly difficult.

He requires more or less 24 hour supervision, and total assistance with all his daily tasks. Brenden goes to school but can’t be in an after-school program because the staff who manage them aren’t trained to help children like Brenden.

I’m entitled to respite care from the state but I haven’t been able to find a provider in a while. That’s why I’m not more involved at church; I don’t have someone to watch Brenden.

How do you keep going?
I tell myself I have to do what I have to do. And therapy helps. I started going a few months after Mike died. My therapist has been a big help, especially as I navigate the recent loss of my mom.

Can you think of a decision you made that impacted your life?
The decision to pursue religion has had the most profound impact. Learning more about God, learning that God loves us, and that there is power in having faith was a big thing for me.

What’s one of your core values?
I try to understand different viewpoints. I can’t always understand where someone is coming from but I want to learn and try to relate. And I try to always treat people who have different points of view with kindness and understanding, unless they are deliberately unkind.

What’s one of your guiding principles?
I try to be kind and not be the reason someone has a bad day.

What’s something you’re grateful for?
I’m grateful for the support I’ve had the past six years as I navigated my grief and was a single mother of a child with disabilities. The pandemic cut down on a lot of that support but I was never completely without some. I’m grateful for that.

What’s one of your super powers?
I’ve feared this question! I’ve thought about it, though, and I think that one of my superpowers is resiliency.

I’ve been through a lot generally and especially during the past six years. I had to pull myself up and keep going after Mike died. I had to take care of Brenden. I chose to get help to be the mom he needs and the person I want to be so I wouldn’t get stuck in depression.

What’s something about you that friends have said they really appreciate?
They’ve told me that I’m a good listener.

What’s something you haven’t done that you’d still like to do?
I would like to travel and see different parts of the world. I’ve never left the United States.

Where would you travel first?
Australia. I’ve always been fascinated by the unique wildlife there.

What have I not asked that you would like people to know?
Two things. My autism can make me anxious around other people so it’s sometimes hard for me to socialize. But if someone strikes up a conversation with me I’ll engage. But generally I’m not the first to make eye contact or say something. I hope people aren’t put off by that.

And even though Brenden doesn’t speak, he understands more than people think he does. He doesn’t like to be touched but he does like attention. If he’s interested in coming up to you he will. Sometimes he’ll pull himself up on you if he’s out of his wheelchair. It’s best to let him come to you.

What’s a fun fact about you?
I haven’t done it since Mike died but he and I used to do “cosplay” (which is short for costume play). People dress up as characters from movies, TV shows, books, and video games, typically for conventions. The costume is important but it’s also about the experience of connecting to other people who share an interest in the same character.

What was your costume?
I had a couple of different outfits. Mike was really into Star Trek, so we had uniforms from that franchise. I had a Princess Leia costume and the most recent one was from the video game Fallout.