Fr Matthew Reese

And Jesus answered them, “The hour has come for the Son of man to be glorified. Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
—John 12:23-23

Dear friends,

When I was a graduate student in England, one of my chaplaincies did an annual silent retreat in Holy Week. I was invariably part of the resident quartet, so I enjoyed precious little quietude and spent all my free time rehearsing for the next Office or Mass.

The place we went was called Ascot Priory. It had been founded in 1860 by, among others, the great scholar-priest Edward Pusey.

Its gorgeous Gothic-revival buildings were built as an Anglican convent for religious sisters engaged in care for the elderly. A convalescent home still occupies the old wards. There are beautiful rolling gardens and two spectacular chapels, but they are mostly empty.

The paint was chipping off the walls. The Victorian organ was invariably a wreck. It was all a bit damp and shabby.

The last nun, Mother Cecilia, had died in 2004. You would be hard pressed to identify her spot in the churchyard. All the nuns’ graves are topped with unmarked crosses, in neat rows facing east—like they are lined up to chant Matins.

Ascot Priory had had an extraordinary 140-year run, but the sisters were all gone, and it was hard not to feel the weight of their absence. All the cells, all the stalls in chapel, all the empty seats in the refectory. And yet, it was so alive with the Spirit.  

“Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit”

What fruits had been borne within those walls? What faith had been nurtured, even amidst leaky roofs and flaking plaster? What fruits had been borne by the faithful witness and service of those nuns? What work was the Spirit doing in us, as we crept around, explored disused corridors, kept vigil in that chapel?

I’ve long wanted to go back, but fear I shan’t. The Society is trying to sell Ascot Priory—the burden of the buildings has become too great to bear. Public comment in the Church is due next Friday.

But I don’t think the nuns would be too sad. The seed that dies will bear much fruit. Ours is a religion of resurrection.

Yours in Christ,

—Fr Matthew