Emily Lyons

Dear Friends,

Today we remember and give thanks for the conversion of Paul.

In his letter to the Galatians, in addition to recounting how intent he was on persecuting Christians, Paul also emphasizes how hard he worked to distinguish himself as a scholar of Jewish law, advancing more quickly than his peers. It seems important that Paul make his readers understand how thoroughly his sense of identity was tied to his status as a Pharisee.

Considering that the things upon which we’ve built our sense of identity might be the wrong things makes us deeply uncomfortable. In response to a perceived threat to our identity, it’s not unusual for us to lash out angrily, or double down on our convictions. In striving to crush the early Christian church, might Saul have hoped to crush any private doubts he may have had about the path he was on?

When Jesus says to Saul, “it hurts for you to kick against the goads,” what I hear is “see how it hurts you to resist what you know in your heart to be the truth?”    

Writer and activist Audre Lorde wrote* of how a cancer scare followed by a mastectomy brought her face to face with her own mortality, and led her to an empowering realization: staying silent because you fear the consequences of speaking your truth aloud will not save you from death. Then why should you fear proclaiming your truth openly?

Lorde’s insight echoes Jesus’ warning to his followers that they will be hated and persecuted for proclaiming his truth. But what alternative do they have? Staying silent will not save them from death.

I ask myself, what truths am I kicking against? What truths has fear kept me from speaking aloud?

Yours in Christ,

—Emily

“The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action” (1977) from Sister Outsider