Justin Appel

Dear Friends,

In today’s Gospel lesson, Jesus warns against the Pharisees and their hypocrisy. This is a sobering passage, and one that always prompts a pang of recognition in myself.

Jesus’ summary statement is an affirmation of the basic importance of humility:

“All who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

How does one learn humility? Start by asking the saints!

St Silouan, a Russian monk who lived on Mt Athos near the turn of the 20th century, asked this question and found this answer: “Keep your mind in hell and do not despair.”

Contemplating hell meant having a heightened sense and awareness of one’s sinfulness, one’s mistakes, and capacity to do evil. Silouan taught that self-condemnation was an essential way to protect oneself from the attacks of the Evil One and from the barrage of thoughts that assault us.

“My soul yearns after the Lord and I seek Him in tears. How could I do other than seek Thee, for Thou first didst seek and find me, and gavest me to delight in Thy Holy Spirit, and my soul fell to loving Thee.

Thou seest, O Lord, my grief and my tears … Hadst Thou not drawn me with Thy love, I could not seek Thee as I seek Thee now; but Thy spirit gave me to know Thee, and my soul rejoices that Thou art my God and my Lord, and I yearn after Thee even to tears.”

(Translation by Rosemary Edmonds)

Arvo Pärt’s syllabic setting of the original Russian text retains the special bittersweet quality of Silouan’s words and something of their spiritual density.

Listening to this music gives me an inkling of what I’m supposed to be seeking. What a gift that is!

Yours in Christ,

—Justin