How long have you worshiped at Saint Philip’s?
My husband and I visited for the first time in 2019 but then COVID and two babies happened. But we knew we wanted to come back to church eventually. And when we did we met Jenny and Grant Batchelder and knew this was the right place.

Were you raised in a faith tradition?
I’m a cradle Episcopalian. I did Youth Group, participated in diocesan events, and attended Diocesan and General Conventions. I went on several international mission trips and later even worked at my parish as the Communication Coordinator.

What do you do now?
I’m a mom so I cater to my two toddlers. During the holidays I work retail and absolutely love it.

What about Saint Philip’s speaks to you?
My husband and I have a strong desire to make sure our kids grow up knowing Christ. And we want them to be surrounded by adults who model what it means to be faithful.

What makes you feel like you belong to this community?
I’m welcomed when I’m here. It’s not an overbearing or pushy welcome but it’s real.

But to really reap the benefit of what Saint Philip’s has to offer one has to choose to engage. The parish offers so many different levels of engagement—from having coffee after church on Sundays to joining a formation group to exchanging numbers and becoming friends with someone. No matter the activity, it’s on me to actively participate so that I’m part of this community.

How have you chosen to participate?
When I first arrived I felt very called to help with the middle and high school youth. I have a lot of passion for middle schoolers as they navigate the world around them, social media, their friends, and who they want to be.

But I over-extended myself. My passion was real but so are the two little ones at home. That realization was hard.

But I wasn’t shamed for not being able to do what I’d hoped to do. I continued to be invited to participate as I was able.

So this summer I helped with Vacation Bible School. I volunteer in the nursery. And I try to be generally helpful—knowing that my season for doing other work is still ahead.

And then there’s the Parents Formation Group.

What appeals to you about that group?
One of my favorite things about it is that it’s made up of parents with kids of all different ages. And each family has its own vision for their unit. But there is such respect among the parents for how each family is navigating raising their children. We all focus on how we want our children to know Christ.

A phrase from my time in Equador really sticks with me: “It’s not right. It’s not wrong. It’s just different.”

Has anything surprised you about Saint Philip’s?
Yes! This parish serves the exact same lemonade as my church in South Carolina. Country Time Lemonade must be the staple beverage for Episcopal churches.

Is there an ordinary place that feels extraordinary because of your experience there?
The Children’s Courtyard because I’ve had some of the most amazing conversations there.

One day we arrived early and I let my older son play with another child until it was time to go to church. But instead of heading to the sanctuary, the other mom and I talked the entire next hour on the playground.

It reminded me of when Christ said, “when two or more are gathered in my name.” While it’s important to partake in the liturgy and hear the Word, it’s also important to be in community with each other.

What’s a lesson you keep having to learn?
That although prayers do get answered, I don’t get to pick how or when.

Here’s a funny and unusual example:

When I was little my biggest prayer at bedtime was to have an older brother. (I was the oldest child of three and too young to understand why my prayer was impossible.)

But in seventh grade I did a genetic study. My mother is an identical twin so my aunt’s children are genetically my half-siblings. So I discovered I (technically) do have an older brother!

What’s something that scares you?
Raising kids in today’s society. There is so much information available—regardless of whether it’s vetted or not. I want my kids to know how to do the right thing even if no one else is doing that.

I attend a women’s bible study and one of the members said to focus on feeding my children the stories from the Bible—especially the gospels. That will help give them the foundation for knowing what to do.

Does your family engage in a particular practice at home?
We have dinner at the table without phones and engage in conversation. My husband and I know the boys are really young but even if our “conversation” is about an episode of the Australian animated series “Bluey” we’re instilling good habits.

What’s something you’re proud of?
I’m proud that I know my priorities and am ok if people judge me because of them.

I sometimes get looks when my boys act feral but so long as they’re not doing something destructive or disrespectful, I believe they need to be children. And if people judge me because of their behavior, then that’s just fine.

It’d be a lie to say I don’t care completely but I’m willing to accept people’s judgment even if they don’t understand my situation. What’s most important to me is focusing on my children and teaching them that everyone has value.

Is there a place that formed you as much as any person?
College. That’s where I was sexually assaulted when I was a graduate student.

The police didn’t take me seriously but the Student Conflict Resolution department did because I was assaulted by my supervisor. The trial took place during final exams. I didn’t fail but the stress was such that I didn’t do as well as I thought was necessary to go the next step to get my doctorate degree.

What did you want to get your PhD in?
I was a psychology major. My dream job was to be a therapist for an NBA team. I love understanding what motivates people and delving into what’s underneath emotions. Because when you do that you can acknowledge your feelings and move forward. For example, underneath anger is usually a lot of pain.

What inspires you to share your story of the assault?
There used to be shame about sharing such a story. But I’ve learned that when I’m authentic and show my broken pieces, that’s where God comes in and says, “let me help you put these pieces back together.”

I’ve learned that the glue that helps piece things together is my supportive spouse, my community, and my different experiences. Things may not come back together the way I expect but there’s no shame in falling apart and needing help coming back together.

There’s a Japanese practice that uses gold to fill the crevices of broken shards. We all have those spaces.

What’s something that experience taught you?
That we aren’t meant to experience hardships on our own. And more of us experience similar hardships than we realize. Knowing that someone else got through something and is further along than where you might be can offer hope that whatever struggle someone is going through is temporary.

Can you think of a decision you made that had an important impact on your life?
Agreeing to be hospitalized for post-partum depression after my first son was born.

He was born during COVID and I had no family here and no strong friendships yet. My depression exhibited as maternal instinct on overdrive. I was terribly concerned about all the things that could endanger my son but it didn’t come out that way. Instead, people were afraid I would harm my child.

It took over two years after my second son’s birth before I was able to emerge from a lot of that. I think one reason that’s true is because women don’t talk about this. There’s a lot of fear that children will be taken away because of mandated reporting.

Insurance companies and their shareholders push health care workers to be productive at the expense of giving them time to sit and talk with patients. I had to learn how to advocate for myself and navigate the health care system.

I learned first-hand that one of the most invaluable resources for mental health is having a community of people who care.

What’s something you know now that your younger self didn’t?
To pause. That if there’s a feeling of anger or being overwhelmed or just a big decision, pause for a moment. Take two big deep breaths and see if anything changes.

What’s one of your guiding principles?
To treat each person with dignity and respect.

When we do that we emulate the love of Christ. It sounds so easy, doesn’t it? But then I remember an experience I had while running errands.

I had just bought some Girl Scout cookies, and was enjoying them in the car. I came to an exit off the highway and was approached by a guy who said he was hungry. I usually have a manna bag in the car but this time I didn’t—so I gave him the rest of my cookies.

He asked if I had Thin Mints instead. Even though I had them I wanted them for myself so told him I didn’t have them. But then guilt and shame took over and I gave him the box.

I was so disappointed in myself. He asked me for something I was able to give him and by lying I disrespected him—and myself. Being truthful to each other is all about respecting each other. I failed to do that in that moment.

What’s something you’re grateful for?
Coffee! And time to reflect.

I belong to an online “buy nothing” group. It functions as a hyper-local, online community-based gift economy where members give, receive, share, and borrow items for free, with no buying, selling, or trading allowed.

The core idea is to reduce waste, build community connections, and provide an alternative to conventional commerce.

Whenever I pick up or drop off an item I write thank you notes. It’s the southern in me but it also helps me actively speak gratitude. And it reminds me of how much we need to do that and how much we need to say positive things to each other.

What’s one of your core values?
Learning.

In college I experienced two severe concussions pretty close to each other. Once while playing football in the snow and the other time while playing broom ball. (It’s like hockey with shoes instead of skates.)

Bruising appeared on the brain scans, I had slurred speech and memory loss. And since then I learn differently than I did before the injuries.

Because I know I learn differently now, I want to keep learning. I want to keep that part of my brain working. I may no longer retain information the same way but that shouldn’t deter me from seeking it out.

What’s one of your super powers?
My ability to know that I can be wrong—and accepting that. It’s part of that growth mindset that means I can always learn more.

What’s something about you that friends have said they really appreciate?
My open-mindedness. I think that stems from two things: growing up in the Episcopal church and experiencing opportunities to be in uncomfortable positions.

For example, I was the only white girl on my basketball team. It didn’t bother me but some of my teammates made assumptions about me that weren’t correct. I learned a lot about how many different perspectives there can be.

Your father taught you a particular concept, correct?
He taught me the concept of the parental lottery—meaning that we don’t get to pick the circumstances we’re born into. If someone is lucky with their situation, that doesn’t make them better than anyone else. The inverse is also true.

My father grew up one of 10 children and his family didn’t have much money. But he and every one of his siblings went to college on scholarships, and he knew he would give us a life growing up different than what he had.

He made sure that my two younger siblings and I knew he worked for our privileges and we were just lucky. We learned that we were to use responsibly the gifts and advantages we had. And that meant to use them for the betterment of everyone, not just ourselves.

A standing mantra was, “If anyone is hungry, there’s room at the table.”

How do you replenish yourself?
I’m still trying to figure that out. It used to be art—and I did some of that in the Little Shop in September.

What has become clear is that replenishing myself right now has to be different because my kids need me so much. So I now incorporate them in the exercise.

I recently bought a bunch of my favorite books from childhood and read them to my children. Reading those stories again replenishes me.

Is there something you’d like readers to know?
If I ignore you please know it’s not because I’m mean. It’s because I’m always tired! And if I haven’t had any coffee, then know that I’m barely functioning.