Emily Lyons

Dear Friends,

Today the Daily Office readings speak to me of the tension between the past and the future. Like a bowstring drawn back, these readings are full of potential energy, of the anxious knowledge that all of the events of the past have led up to the present moment and will determine what happens next.  

King David, near the end of his life, speaks with prophetic authority of the everlasting covenant God has made with his bloodline. Shortly afterward, he cries out with longing to drink once more from the well of Bethlehem.

This is the very human wish of one who is at once a mighty king, handpicked by God to rule over Israel, and a grief-stricken old man who has been at war his whole life. A few of his men risk their lives to obtain his wish, but David refuses it. There is no undoing the past. 

In the Gospel reading, Jesus foretells the destruction of the Temple. His agitated disciples ask when this will happen. He does not answer directly, but speaks of tribulation to come. “This is but the beginning of the birth pangs,” he says. 

I recently read a mention of something Saint Bernard of Clairvaux said about the Church—that it has one eye looking toward the past and the other looking toward the future. Doesn’t this describe us all? We search the past for bits of knowledge to help guide us through the uncertain present. But we can’t avoid the pain of failure and loss that we all must feel sooner or later.

We can look to the past full of regret for our mistakes, but we can’t undo them. We can be sorry for them, do our best to learn from them, and sometimes, with God’s grace, we can repair them. But we can’t undo them. 

We can only move forward in time. We can only sustain the tension of being pulled between the past and the future for so long. In the end, what else can we do but put our trust in God? 

Jesus says to his disciples, “everyone will hate you because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved.” It seems like a warning, but it’s an assurance. It’s as if Jesus is saying, “no matter how bad things get, trust in me, and I will save you. I already have.”

In Christ, 

—Emily