Fr Robert Hendrickson

Dear Friends in Christ,

In my worst moments I’ll just graze at the refrigerator.

I’ll open it and just stare into its cold, bright abyss. I open it as if opening the gates of some modernist treasure house out of which will pour the plenteousness that will satiate.

I’m expecting something magical and new to burst forth.

Then I close the door, finding nothing.

Then I open it again as if some new tasty satisfying thing will leap out.

Then I close it again.

I don’t need to open it again.

What I need is a meal. An actual meal!

But I keep kind of grazing. That’s the nature of spiritual life quite often. We open the pantry of the world’s wisdom and just kind of browse the shelves of timeless truths.

We’re peckish but maybe not hungry.

So we close the door having nabbed a tidbit or two of Buddhism. Then we open it again and spy some Lutheranism there, just on the top shelf behind the transcendental meditation. We try to pull that box down but then knock down some dusty old thing resting against it.

We pick that box up and realize it’s something we kind of nibbled on some time ago but can’t remember what it is. Mega-Church? Non-Denominational? Who can remember!

We browse and nibble and open and close the doors. But we hardly ever just sit down for a meal. We don’t commit to the work it takes to grow, pick, open, unpack, shell, peel, dice, sauté, or whatever else it takes to make something truly nourishing of what’s all around us.

I spent many, many years grazing at the both the spiritual and literal cupboards of life! I’m trying to dig deeper these days—to get to know the tradition I’m in more deeply so I can let it really sustain and feed me so I’ll stop some of that unhealthy grazing and meandering we’re all tempted to from time to time.

Boredom isn’t hunger. We’re all too easily bored and we keep trying to see if some snacking will solve the issue. It just doesn’t seem to though.

I’m sure I’ll open the refrigerator again sometime and look around and see if something new has shown up.

But then I hope I’ll remember that what I’m most deeply craving is a real meal and get to work on that recipe again.

Yours in Christ,

—Fr Robert