Edina Hall

They went to a place called Gethsemane, and Jesus said to his disciples, “Sit here while I pray.” He took Peter, James and John along with him, and he began to be deeply distressed and troubled. “My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death,” he said to them. “Stay here and keep watch.” 

Going a little farther, he fell to the ground and prayed that, if possible, the hour might pass from him. “Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.”
—Mark 14: 32-36

Sisters and Brothers with Christ in the garden,

There are many Maundy Thursdays when I find myself in the Garden of Gethsemane with the apostles.

I can imagine myself after a Seder meal full of song, ritual, food, and wine, very, very sleepy. I see Jesus asking me to stay awake and watch but I cannot. Inevitably when found asleep, I feel the pull of guilt of not “being there” for Jesus in his hour of grief. His words, “Could you not watch one hour?” cut deep.  

In reading the passage outside of Holy Week, however, I find myself more awake, and instead of sitting with the disciples, I am present with Jesus.

Previously, I have encountered Him changing water to wine, healing countless people, walking on water, calming storms, turning tables, teaching and loving his disciples. This Jesus, however, is alone, overwhelmed, afraid, and sorrowful. He prays and begs God to change the course of His life, and it is this vulnerable Jesus that I can relate to the most. 

Like many of us, I have undergone unavoidable adversity. To use Jesus’ words, I have been “overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death.” In my darkest hour, I have cried, wailed, and cursed God. I have begged Him again and again… “I don’t want to go through this!”

Just like Jesus—“Take this cup from me.” 

So, I relate to this vulnerable Jesus, because he is broken and raw. Honest. Human. Just like us.

And when I, or we, find ourselves needing to be to be open and broken and raw and honest, Jesus, having been through it all himself, will stay, sit with us, and watch for however long it will take.

—Edina