Dcn Brigid Waszczak

“How can I know this?” Zechariah asked the angel. “For I am an old man, and my wife is well along in years.” The angel answered him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and tell you this good news. Now listen. You will become silent and unable to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their proper time.” —Luke 1:18-25

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

Zechariah ruffled Gabriel’s angelic feathers with his question—with his doubt. In high dungeon, Gabriel rendered Zechariah mute until John the Baptist’s birth.

I have compassion for fear-filled, bewildered Zechariah.

In those days, Jewish newlyweds looked forward to having children because the next son born in Israel might be the expected Messiah. Zechariah and Elizabeth were no exception. But by the time Gabriel appears, Zech is eligible for AARP! It is no wonder he is caught off guard by Gabriel’s news. Childless all these years, yet persisting in his prayer, he wonders why God blessed him with a son now, at his advanced age.

Zechariah lived a predictable, certainty-filled life that was upended in a flash. Dismayed and fearful, he unwittingly rejected a message sent directly from God by asking for a sign. Might we not also have a question or two in this circumstance?

Gabriel presumed his angelic visitation would serve as that sign, but it was not the comfort Zechariah needed. Gabriel’s presence flummoxed him even more. Zech tried to have faith, but it is hard to blame him for questioning this shocking news after all these childless years.

The biggest barriers to faith are the desire for certainty and fear—huge hurdles to overcome because we want, we depend upon, predictability and ease. Accepting the unknown is hard.

When I finally admitted to hearing a call to ordination, it meant leaping into the unknown. It meant leaving the Catholicism I’d lived with for over 60 years to join the Episcopal Church (which ordained women) with the hope of becoming a deacon. Nothing about that journey was easy or predictable. It was quite the opposite. Fear and uncertainty were my constant companions.

Fear and uncertainty caused Zechariah’s hesitation at the seismic shift taking place in his life in that moment. But God was not hindered by age, infertility, uncertainty, or fear. God knows we do not need to fully understand the path ahead to walk it. We cannot always find certainty because faith also calls us to embrace mystery.

What fear, what uncertainty holds you back? In faith… in life?

Blessings,

—Brigid