Mtr Mary Trainor

My Lord and my God! John 20:28

Dear friend,

Perhaps you’ve seen the 2010 movie The Way, depicting one man’s walking journey along the 500-mile Camino de Santiago. His particular path started in France and moved westward across Spain toward the Atlantic Ocean, ultimately arriving at Santiago de Compostela.

I was among those who found the story riveting, yet incomplete. It would not be complete for me until 2014, when I walked this same route—the Camino Frances— with a friend. 

Hearing about the Camino, and experiencing it firsthand, are different. The sheer length of it is daunting enough. But it is the encounter with terrain, elevation changes, and weather that especially toughen one.

Just before arriving in Pamplona, we were traversing a narrow footpath. My boot hit an embedded stone, and down I went, the weight of my pack propelling me face-first into the rocky ground. It was shocking, painful, messy. This is my flesh-and-blood memory from the entire 40 days.

If one can only go there in pictures or stories, the Camino is still worth the “journey.” But walking the ancient pilgrimage path brings about a different kind of “knowing” that one cannot have through someone else’s experience.

My Lord and my God! 

Today is the Feast Day of St. Thomas the Apostle. What little we know about him, we learn only through reading the Gospel of John.

Both today’s Daily Office Gospel and the Feast Day Gospel share stories of Thomas. In the former (John 20:24-29), we read again of Thomas’ refusal to take others’ testimony about having seen the risen Lord. For this, he has been branded by some as a doubter. Others find him a discerning believer, one to emulate. 

Thomas will not rely on second-hand reports. He needs to see with his own eyes, he wants to touch and feel. He wants a genuine encounter with the risen Lord, not one described by others.

Jesus honored him by returning and offering his bloody wounds for Thomas’ examination. Having his own encounter, being invited to touch the wounds, Thomas saw “resurrection” differently.

We long for our own encounter with the risen Lord. Formed as I was in an evangelical tradition that equated questions with unholy doubt, I find Thomas to be a refreshing alternative to unquestioned faith.

How else are we to grow in faith if we can’t explore its edges. It will always be less authentic, less personal, less meaningful, until we are allowed our own exploration without censure.

This is the gift that Thomas offers: A full and authentic relationship with God in Christ can best be had through one’s own encounter. It can be lonely, scary, painful, not unlike a face-plant on a rocky pilgrim’s path. But the willingness to pursue and persist deepens the experience.It certainly did for Thomas. A week later, Jesus appears again and offers his wounds for examination. That was enough for Thomas. He needed nothing more. His only response?

My Lord and my God! 

Mtr. Mary