Fr Robert Hendrickson

Dear Friends in Christ,

I don’t know about you but I find myself sometimes thinking, “Whew, this pandemic seems just about over!” Then other days, or even a few minutes later, I read something in the news and think, “Oh no, this is never going to end!” After both reactions I move immediately to thinking about what’s next — I start planning, scheduling, and re-configuring in my head. It’s natural as we all want to find control where we can and figure our future out especially in the midst of almost minute to minute changes.

I suspect we will look back on this time with some very specific memories (the smell of smoke, the gut feeling of watching unrest on tv, the heart flutter when we forgot a mask or had to push a button after we just heard some frightening news story). We will also have some vague memories or feelings or perceptions of the time. How did the way we see things change? What was something we learned that served us well? What do we wish we had done? These are the kind of inchoate sensations, nudging, and deep change that later emerge as we process the experience.

I keep returning to 9/11. I have very specific memories. Smells, chills, smoke.

The time after, intimately tied to the experience of 9/11, was also when I rediscovered faith. It’s when my goal orientation shifted. It’s when my worldview was cracked open.

I think that, for all of us individually and for Saint Philip’s as a whole, some of both are happening. We will have specific memories — worship online, Zoom Bible Studies, longingly looking at pictures of the grounds. I think more general things are afoot too. I think when we look back on this time we may find ourselves realizing that we were a more flexible faith community than we thought. We were generous in new ways. We went deeper into prayer and Scripture. We found new ways to reach new folks.

What we miss will also come into deeper and deeper focus — what we miss in some ways speaks to who we are at our core. What we miss is the ache we experience that is a kind of soul-pain that is only restored in the presence of the things that shape us. We come to a new appreciation of those people, places, and things.

There will be very specific events and eventualities that will happen to each of us and to the community in this time. There will also be ways that our underlying identity, priorities, and worldview are being shifted in ways we can’t yet see. There will be things we miss deeply that are telling us who we are down deep. My prayer is that the Holy Spirit keeps nudging us, keeps holding us close to one another, and keeps moving us toward a deeper and deeper shared trust and faith in Christ.

Change is the mark of being alive. How we deal with change and respond to it is the mark of how alive we are. May we be ready to be changed by the experiences we are sharing together and may we hold fast to the one thing that is unchanging and unchangeable — the love of God for us and for our neighbor.

Fr Robert