Douglas Hickey
EDITOR’S NOTE: A church community is created when people gather together for the love of God. At the same time, Saint Philip’s is comprised of many people who represent different ages, life experiences, and world views.
The “In conversation…” series is one attempt to create possibilities for connection between the different people in our community. As varied as we all are, there are also similarities and mutual interests waiting to be discovered. And there is one thing we all share: a desire to know God and be in relationship with him.
This week’s conversation is with Saint Philip’s parishioner and volunteer, Douglas Hickey.
How long have you worshiped at Saint Philip’s?
Our family started coming in 2019—around the time that Dashiell was born. We wanted him to be baptized here so we met with Fr Peter for many months before that to prepare. We really built a bond with Fr Peter and kept coming. It’s a 90 minute drive from our house to the church so it’s a significant investment of time and energy.
Which service do you typically attend?
The 9:00am because of Atrium for our kids and the Parent Formation group for my wife, Adrienne, and me.
How many children do you and Adrienne have?
We have three. Greta is our oldest. (She’s eight and reads at church. I’m pretty much known as “Greta’s dad.”) Dashiell is five, and Rosalind is now almost 1 1/2 years old.
I also have two grown daughters from a previous marriage: Charlotte (20) and Amelia (21).
Were you raised in a faith tradition?
I was. I grew up as an Army brat and consequently bounced around a lot—and that included attending different churches.
At five, I was baptized in the Church of Christ. When we moved to Germany, I attended Army Chapel services. My family also belonged to a Southern Baptist-affiliated church at one point.
As an adult, I continued to explore different denominations but ultimately had a falling out with the church.
Would you say more about that?
I think there were a lot of things specific to the evangelical church that I was reacting against—and there was a period where I wasn’t sure what I believed about anything. But it never felt right to leave church completely so I had to figure out what it would look like for me.
How did you go about that?
There was a priest at an Episcopal church in Sierra Vista who guided me through the period of doubt I negotiated in my early 30s.
What I especially appreciated about Fr Vic was that he didn’t see my doubt as a problem. He didn’t push me toward making some kind of commitment or declaration; I wasn't ready for. It was enough to just be there on Sundays.
Fr Vic did premarital counseling with Adrienne and me and then baptized Greta. When he moved to a parish in New York, Adrienne and I weren’t sure where we would end up. Luckily we found Saint Philip’s!
What about Saint Philip’s speaks to you?
The richness of the liturgy and the high Anglican ethos that we have here. My wife is a classical musician so that aspect of the music and worship service really resonates for her in particular.
In the Episcopal church, there is a wide range of approaches to worship and the rigor of the liturgy here is something unique to Saint Philip’s. We find it very moving.
How are you involved in the parish?
I’m a choir dad and I’ll serve as a chaperone for the pilgrimage this summer. In conjunction with that, I’ve been volunteering with Jordan Paul as a senior youth formation leader on Sunday mornings.
And I’ve recently started writing reflections for the Daily Bread.
What inspired you to sign up as a chaperone?
I was interested in going on pilgrimage as a spiritual pursuit even before finding Saint Philip’s. Adrienne and I talked about it as a way to connect with the historical church and the generations of pilgrims who have prayed with their feet.
The details are vague but I do remember having a conversation with another parent in the breezeway. I think Kate Appel or Becky Friesen must have overheard me say something about pilgrimage and told me the organizers of the youth pilgrimage were looking for people to chaperone. One thing led to another.
What do you do professionally?
I’m the principal engineer at NETCOM headquarters—a two star headquarters subordinate to Army Cyber Command. My work entails a bit of everything but ultimately it’s about ensuring that IT services are available to soldiers around the globe so they can execute the missions they have.
What’s something you’re proud of?
That I’m still involved with church. I have siblings who aren’t.
What keeps you involved with the church?
What Kierkegaard calls irrational faith.
I’m an engineer, so I spend my days taking things apart, putting them back together, and following trains of thought to their logical conclusions. That's great for solving certain kinds of problems, but it doesn't always make for a meaningful life.
Church reminds me that what's real and what's logical aren't always the same. I sort of cherish the things about my faith that don't make logical sense because that irrationality feels like submission to an intuition that this is where I'm supposed to be.
The Episcopal church has set structures for the liturgy and a rich tradition of analytical theology and self-critical philosophy that's quite rigorous. At the same time, worship invites me into something mysterious and poetic. The collision of left and right brain is a space I love to inhabit.
What do you do for fun?
In a family of classical musicians, I’m the odd man out. Adrienne is a pianist. Greta and Dashiel play cello, and Rosalind bangs on Tupperware (in rhythm).
When I finished graduate school a few years ago, I wanted to learn an instrument, too. But I'm more of a programmer than a poet so I started teaching myself electronic music. I play a little electric guitar, synthesizer, and I make beats on a sampler. The last is an electronic instrument that lets me take pre-recorded sounds, modulate them in different ways, and sequence them.
What I like about electronic music is that you start off with really basic sounds, then subject them to algorithms, mathematical transformations, and permutations, and when it all goes right, something mysterious and human emerges.
Do you have a favorite prayer?
There are so many good ones! The one I pray most often is the Jesus prayer: “Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.” I say that as I drive on I-10 trying to avoid semi-trucks.
What’s one of your guiding principles?
If something is worth doing, it’s worth doing well.
It’s a busy life with kids, the driving required, working full-time, and volunteering. When I get a minute to do something outside of those things, I want to use it deliberately and not fritter it away.
I have a lot of interests and there’s some debate in my home about whether they're worth the attention I give them. But I won’t do them casually. It’s not about knowing ahead of time where that deep dive will lead. It’s the exploration that’s interesting. I like to be all in. No half measures.
What are you grateful for?
At the top of the list is my family.
Having gone through divorce when I was younger, I have a real appreciation for the ways in which having a stable supportive family isn’t a given. It’s contingent on the other people who make up that unit with you.
I feel super blessed to have the family that I do because it’s a great group of people—and they are all in on supporting me, supporting each other, and trying to build something that’s beautiful. There's something surprising and delightful about rediscovering that fact every day.
What’s one of your super powers?
We talk about this at home all the time! (Not my super power, but just the question of super powers in general.)
I’m really good at being dropped into a novel problem with a group of people and asking, “how do we fix this?” without bringing a lot of biases that would foreclose a particular approach. Part of that same superpower is not having a huge ego (which I'm sure will make Adrienne laugh), but I'm actually pretty good at considering new information, and saying "Wow, okay, if I'm wrong about x..." and then going full steam in the opposite direction.
If you couldn’t fail, what’s something you’d like to do/or try?
I would make the leap from exploring electronic music in the safety of my garage to performing it in public.
What’s a fun fact about you?
When I was in high school (in Germany), I was in a passion play that was broadcast on Romanian public television. I portrayed the apostle Peter. I’m always worried I'll meet someone who has seen it.
What’s one of your guilty pleasures?
Going back to the whole "no half measures" thing, I'm reluctant to call it a guilty pleasure, but I really love B horror films. Evil Dead is probably the textbook example of a movie made on a shoestring budget with bad acting and very little in the way of plot that manages to be sublime—not despite but because of its limitations.
What have I not asked that you would like people to know?
It’s a lot more fun going to B horror movies if you have someone to go with. If someone reads this and would like to hit up The Loft’s Mondo Monday series, I’m always up for that and would love to go.
Missed an interview? All previous interviews can be found on Saint Philip’s website under the “About Us” tab. Click here to visit that page.