Fr Ben Garren

Dear Siblings in Christ,

He's making a list,
And checking it twice;
Gonna find out Who's naughty and nice.
Santa Clause is Coming to Town.

Santa Clause seems to care, deeply, about rewarding good behavior. As we head towards the Christmas season, and a time of much giving and receiving of gifts, this mentality seems to impact our thinking in so many ways. These lessons about needing to deserve what we receive can overwhelm the holidays. We can attach our sense of self-worth to what we receive, feeling unworthy of what is given to us or feeling we are worth more than what we receive. We can become overwhelmed trying to find the gift that will placate a certain family member or have expectations that everyone praises the gifts we give as being the perfect gift.

Saint Nicholas approached gift giving in a markedly different way. On the outskirts of his town lived an impoverished widower with three daughters that were struggling to survive. With no suitors and no means to provide a dowry the futures of the young women looked dire. They were at a point of such overwhelming desperation that the family had begun discussing prostitution as a means to, at least, stay alive. Aware of this plight Nicholas, anonymously, provided the family sufficient funds to support each daughter in having a dowry and a path out of the desperate situation they were in. His gifts were not rewards for good behavior but interventions that supported the basic needs of those who received them.

As we celebrate Saint Nicholas’ day it would be good for all of us to detach ourselves, for at least a moment, from the idea of giving and receiving gifts as a reward… and ground ourselves on the providing and receiving gifts in order to meet the needs of those around us. Which is not to say we will abandon the joy that comes about as we share gifts with each other in the months ahead but is simply a reminder that such should be a joy. These exchanges are for the sake of showing our love for each other and not rewards based on our proposed goodness. Perhaps the greatest gift we can give ourselves is an anonymous and selfless moment where we provide for those in greatest need.

Pax,

—Ben