Dcn Brigid Waszczak

…the chief priests…elders… scribes…the whole council…bound Jesus…and delivered him to Pilate [who] asked him, "Are you the King of the Jews?" And [Jesus] answered him, "You have said so."... the chief priests accused him of many things...Pilate again asked…"Have you no answer to make?…Jesus made no further answer…Pilate wondered. For he perceived that it was out of envy that the chief priests had delivered him up…the chief priests stirred up the crowd...Pilate, wishing to satisfy the crowd…scourged Jesus [and] delivered him to be crucified. (Mark 15:1-15)

Dear Brothers and Sisters,

At this point in the passion narrative, I long for Pilate to do the right thing and release Jesus. He knew the priests, elders, and scribes contrived the charges and inaccurate characterization of Jesus to rid themselves of this pesky, popular prophet. But weak-willed and fearful of the riled-up crowd, Pilate capitulated, sending Jesus to his death. The priests, elders, and scribes deliberately mischaracterized Jesus and created a false person—which Jesus did not refute and which Pilate accepted.

Pilate wondered why Jesus did not defend himself. His silence perplexed me as well until I realized Jesus knew how fruitless any explanation would be. Jesus saw that words would not convince a cowardly Pilate of his innocence because Pilate was less concerned with Jesus’ guilt than he was with his own safety.

This insight prompted me to consider the varied false personas we accept of ourselves—and create for others. When I was young, I accepted the roles others assigned to me because I didn’t know better—or myself well enough. As I matured, I often filled the assigned role because I was afraid to disappoint.

At the heart of that, though, was fear. Fear that I might not meet other’s expectations for me. And conversely, fear of being bigger than what others were comfortable with. My ultimate dread was being abandoned.

In that place of fear is where it’s easy to forget that I am never alone. None of us is ever alone. God is with us. I’ve heard that all my life and yet….

Accepting who I am has required faith that God is indeed with me always. Rather than focus on me I now try to live out what God created me to do. That process has required a cost because not everyone has understood or accepted my choices. That’s a sad consequence but it’s not the ultimate sacrifice that Jesus made.

Jesus knew his truth even when others didn’t. What personas, created by you or assigned by others, might need to be re-examined?

Blessings,

—Dcn Brigid