Sherry Sterling

They’ll know we are Christians by our love, by our love, yes, they’ll know we are Christians by our love.

Dear friends,

This is the refrain from a song I grew up singing, a hymn inspired by John 13:35—“Jesus said, ‘By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.’”

Similarly, the messages of today’s scripture readings, as brought together in the Collect of the Day, remind Christians to “show forth in their lives what they profess by their faith.”

That got me thinking, how does my life show what I profess? And what kind of love did Jesus mean when he told us to love one another, that it would stand out to others? How is Christian love that noticeably different?

I’ve had the idea that to love in a noticeably different way is to be perfectly patient and extra kind, rising above anger, and other extreme versions of everything else listed in the love chapter of I Corinthians 13. As if the best way to love is to not really be affected by life.

But I’ve learned that approach cuts me out of the equation. Self-erasure is different than not being self-seeking. My life still needs my self in it.

Reading a book on Christian assertiveness, Speaking the Truth in Love, I’m reminded that Jesus was not always meek and mild, but sometimes fierce and forceful—think of his overturning of the money changers’ tables in the temple. His love looked passive at times, aggressive at others, and assertive on the whole, with him assertively choosing which response to give, guided by love.

The key is the motivation: not self-interest, but love for the good of all. Love that is not self-seeking, but also not self-abandoning. Funneling that love through a self that registers what is happening, and is moved by it. Jesus’ summary of the commandments—to love God with all our heart, soul, and mind, and to love our neighbor as ourselves—assumes we love ourselves. That we consider ourselves as worth attending to and communicating for, as much as we consider others are; and that we consider others’ worth as much as our own. Mutual respect and love. I’m working on putting myself into the equation, with God’s help.

Peace and love,

—Sherry