Sherry Sterling

Dear friends,

I find conflict challenging. My natural inclination is to retreat in the face of conflict, wait until emotions cool, invite listening to the other’s experience, then ask to be heard for mine. But not everyone follows this same script. Others come forward when anger is present, hash things out in the heat of the moment, then clean things up afterwards.

I’m not a fighter. Sometimes I wish I were, to get things over with. Sometimes I wish we had a script with agreed upon protocols.

As Christians, we do, in a general way. We’re given guidance in scripture on how to navigate difficulties in relationships.

Would you consider joining me in an experiment? I invite you to find a quiet space, and prayerfully bring to mind a person with whom you have had a difficulty, now or in the past, in your family, neighborhood, or workplace. Remember the situation, how you felt, what you wanted to happen, and how things unfolded.

Now run the memory through the guidance given in the New Testament reading for today (Ephesians 4:25-32):

Put off falsehood
and speak truthfully to your neighbor.
In your anger do not sin.
Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,
and do not give the devil a foothold.
Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer,
but must work, doing something useful with their own hands,
that they may have something to share
with those in need.
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths,
but only what is helpful for building others up
according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.
Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God.
Get rid of all bitterness,
rage and anger,
brawling and slander,
along with every form of malice.
Be kind and compassionate to one another,
forgiving each other,
just as in Christ God forgave you.

How did it go? Did you have any new insights on how to move forward? Did any ideas come to you for ways to clear your heart? To bring healing? As we work through our hurts with others, may God’s grace work in and through us.

Peace and love,

—Sherry