Mtr Mary Trainor

We’re caught in a trap, I can’t walk out  …

Dear friend,

Another stage of COVID’s effect on lifestyle has come to an end for me. I made my way to see a movie in a theater. And then I saw another. Hardly anyone was present. And for all of this, I am grateful.

Both Avatar and Elvis get high marks from me, but in truth, I was not certain I needed more information about Elvis. Been there, done that. Or so I thought.
As the storyline progresses, Elvis becomes more and more aware that his life is not his own, free will is an illusion, that his career and personal life have been captured by others. At these moments, lyrics from Suspicious Minds are playing in the background, to underscore the tragedy of Elvis’ life. I was sad beyond my understanding.

We’re caught in a trap, I can’t walk out  …

Today, the church remembers Cornelius the Centurion, the first Gentile baptized as a follower of Jesus the Christ. To be sure, before that Gentiles could become Christians, but only by first converting to Judaism. There was no turning back after Cornelius, though. The bars were broken that locked out Gentiles from direct inclusion. The trap was sprung, and many after Cornelius simply walked out of one life and into another. No human-made hindrances.

I suspect many of us are caught in traps, not even daring to dream of freedom. I have certainly gotten lost on some murky pathway or another, worrying that I would never find my way out. As some of you may know, I had frightening experiences in evangelical churches, and the only means I found to protect myself was to leave church altogether. I was desperate for a relationship with God, but I came to feel trapped. The church was where God could be found, I believed. And yet it was church itself that made me feel further and further from God.

I was caught in a trap, and those decades outside of church held some of the darkest days of my life. In my case, I guess I had to break from the trap of that distortion of Christianity. It was a necessary breakaway if my spirit was to live.

With time and God’s grace, I found a path that led me here.

Mtr Mary