Fr Peter Helman (09.06.21)

Beloved,

It’s so often difficult to find the right words to say to a person who is enduring pain and loss. In the face of the death of a loved one, or a terminal diagnosis, or the loss of one’s home and livelihood, what words could ever be adequate?

From day to day, much of our conversation tends to orbit a series of to-do lists, recollections of plans, of appointments and places to be, of calls to return, and so much other minutia besides. It may well be the case, when we’re caring for someone in distress, that these are less important matters to discuss.  

When others may keep away because they’re unsure what to say, the Spirit of God bids us stay and offer love and help as we’re able. The Spirit asks us to brave the moment and stand with one who nears their last breath. To sit with the bereaved who take the first steps into a world that is completely shaken by a loved one’s death.

We stand where Jesus does, with those in any need.

The question remains, though. When confronted by pain and loss, how can we even begin to speak in ways that convey what we know is true of the unending love God that enfolds us in every circumstance of life?  

Every time I knock at the door of a person I visit at home or in the hospital, I take even the briefest moment and ask God for help. “Peace be to this house, and all who dwell therein. O my God, be with me. Have mercy upon the soul of your servant.” The truth is that none of us can care for others in our own strength alone. We need God, for God is our shepherd.

I’ve found that God will bring to mind a Psalm to read, or other parts of scripture; or a hymn to sing; and prayers to offer. I ask if I may pray with them.

We very quickly learn too that there are often no words to say, and that silence is okay. There are times when the deepest language of care and love is simply to be present, to rest in the silence—and to listen to what the other person wants to say to us.

Today you will find yourself in a world where people are in need of love and healing and grace to endure even one more day. Pray for eyes to see, for ears to hear, for hearts open to others, for hands strengthened to give, and for wisdom to proclaim God’s love, with or without words.

Peace to you~

Fr. Peter