Justin Appel

Dear Friends,

Today I find myself with a wonderful series of readings, with Lenten themes, and with Arvo Pärt's music.

What I want to say is fairly simple, but it gets at a distinction that affects us all, particularly in a season of quiet, of contemplation, of assessment, and of anticipation.

We are all seeking God's wisdom during this season, but it's likely that this wisdom may feel like a slap in the face to us. After all, our dominant cultural influences teach us that society can be made better by 'fixing' our surrounding situation. It's tempting for us to think that if we can correct certain tendencies in other people, if we can 'download' the correct information into their heads, if we can repair corrupted systems or make new rules -- that this will solve the world's problems.

Here's where that slap can sting a bit. Wisdom -- and the Church's traditional teaching -- guide our primary gaze inward, toward our own faults and sins. Wisdom involves the humility to see my own sins, and not to judge my brother.

Wisdom also asks us to show courage. Facing up to our own faults first, and being honest about them, requires tremendous strength of character. It's easy to point out faults in others and in society at large, and to demand change. It is much harder to work for change in my own heart.

Finally, 'the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom' (Proverbs 9:10). Being wise involves a deep respect for God; it means honoring, cherishing, and submitting to God. At the same time, we needn't be afraid of God -- as Saint Paul makes clear in today's Epistle. We have 'peace with God' (Romans 5:1), it's true. But the fact that we have been 'justified by faith' means we can draw near to God's presence, and that presence, if it is real, will quickly reveal how tremendously other God is, and how sinful and small I am. It will also reveal the only useful guide for evaluating myself: God, rather than to other people.

It seems to me that Pärt's music graciously depicts these things: the humility that fails to judge, the courage of looking within, and the fear of the Lord.

Blessings,
Justin