Mtr Mary Trainor

Sometimes I thank God for unanswered prayers…*

Dear friend,

Prayer is a mystery. That’s the best I can make of it. It’s an important part of our faith, and there are so many ways to pray that it virtually defies definition.

As a former rector of two church communities I can say that the most asked questions were about prayer, more or less summed up as this: “I worry that I’m not praying correctly.”

Apparently worry, or curiosity, goes back to the first century. In our Gospel today from Luke, Jesus’ disciples raise the subject of prayer. “Teach us how…” Jesus offers them the foundational elements of what we now call the Lord’s Prayer.

There’s a charming cartoon on Facebook that shows a young girl praying at her bedside. As she prays, multi-colored letters of the alphabet float freely upward from her head. Many, many letters. A family member sees this and is curious: “What’s with all the letters?” The girl answered, “I don’t really know what to pray for, so I thought if I sent the letters to God, he could put them together however he wants.”

While making pastoral calls to the sick and dying, I learned early that even people in the throes of dementia often join in spontaneously when we get to that part of the service. They might not know my name, or even those of their children, but they know the words of the Lord’s Prayer, learned through repetition, across decades.

Remember when you're talkin' to the man upstairs

When my father was in the last stages of colon cancer, he was as angry as a person can be, short of actual physical violence. He would rail against the slightest delay, or error, or perceived insult. My mother got the brunt of his wrath. She would intentionally stay up late in order to have some quiet time for herself. Even so, every so often she would hear his feet hit the floor, and out he would stomp to the living room. She said she could tell by the vibrations created by his stomp just what mood he was in.

Then, as he ranted and raved about anything and everything, she closed her eyes and said to herself the words of the Lord’s Prayer. Over and over as long as necessary until the storm had passed.

And just because he may not answer doesn't mean he don't care

We ask for things in personal prayer: healing, an “A” on a paper, get my Mom and Dad back together, please don’t let Grandma die. Make the tumor just a cyst. Please keep my child safe. And so on. Even though we may not be proud of all our prayers, we desperately seek a specific outcome. What does it mean when the result is different?

This is where the mystery of prayer can be especially painful. I have come to trust more and more in the reliability of God. I believe our prayers are heard. I believe that God is good. So, why no answer? We simply cannot know. Sometimes though I believe what we perceive to be a “no” is actually a life saver.

Some of God's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.

Mtr Mary

*Unanswered Prayers by Garth Brooks