Mtr Mary Trainor

Love, love changes everything…*

Dear friend,

Driving along this week, I was pondering my upcoming Daily Bread, thinking about the Confession of St. Peter, (which the Church remembers today), recalling a recent conversation about my father…. 

As all of that was swirling around, an Andrew Lloyd Webber favorite poured from the radio. Love Changes Everything. I should have made the obvious connections immediately, but it took a couple of days for it to come together.

There are two Gospel options today, both dealing with Peter. I chose the reading from John (21:15-22) in which Jesus asks Peter three times: Do you love me? 

Peter answers “yes” each time, though by the third time he is frustrated and a little hurt. Each time Peter affirms his love for Jesus, it is met with a call to action: Feed my lambs, tend my sheep, feed my sheep.

Love, love changes everything 
How you live and how you die

In a recent conversation someone asked about my father, whether he was a man who showed his feelings. I said no, I don’t recall him ever saying the word “love.” Long after, I continued to consider the question. A memory, a vignette, popped into mind.

There are always a few days a year in Southern California when it freezes. My family’s cars were parked outside. The windshields and rear windows would ice over.

I was always scurrying around getting ready, leaving little to no time for defrosting the windows or warming up the car. But every frozen morning I would find a warmed up engine, defrosted windows, and the heater already blowing warm air. And there stood Daddy, guarding everything. On my arrival, and without a word, he waved, turned, and returned to the house.

Off into the world we go 
Planning futures, shaping years

Do you love me? Jesus asks Peter three times. Three times Peter says yes. Three times Jesus replies with feed/tend my lambs. The responses suggest quite strongly that love inspires action, tending, feeding, visiting, listening, changing bandages and diapers, ironing shirts. Even defrosting windshields.

Jesus presses Peter to affirm his feelings in words. Do you love me? Say it. And if you can say it, may it inspire acts of love— kindness, generosity, mercy, forbearance, forgiveness, service.

In a perfect world, we would receive both. Spoken affirmation of love, and deeds of love. Words and action. In a perfect world, we could offer both.

It took me better than fifty years to see in a father’s action his love for a daughter. It’s something, something extremely worthwhile. And how much sweeter, deeper still to have heard it in words, as well, here and there along the way.

So I take away an insight for my own life and ministry: If I love Jesus, let me say so. If I love Jesus, let me carry his love in action to others.

Love will never never let you be the same

Mtr. Mary

*From Aspects of Love, Andrew Lloyd Webber, composer; Don Black and Charles Hart, lyricists.