Mtr Mary Trainor

And he went out and wept bitterly. Luke 22:62

Dear friend,

Most human beings are some part saint, some part sinner. My mother was no exception. When I was a small child, I could only see the saint. When I reached adolescence, mostly I could see the sinner. As I moved into a more rounded adulthood, I could see a blend of each. Eighteen years after her death, most days it is the saint who looms in my memory.

Regardless of the saint-sinner ratio on any given day, she has—to draw on an old cliche—gotten smarter as I have gotten older. Our Gospel reading for today’s Daily Office calls this to mind. While reading Luke’s account about Peter’s betrayal, the triple-denial of Jesus, I recalled a truth my mother shared across my lifetime: “In all relationships, there are thickenings and there are thinnings.”

In Peter’s denial of Jesus we witness a major thinning in their relationship, one that Jesus understood was coming, and yet one that caught Peter completely off guard.

And he went out and wept bitterly.

We may be at risk of oversimplifying today’s Gospel, to see it as only about Peter betraying Jesus. Impulsive, headstrong Peter denying his Lord.

But the implications are larger than simply the story of Jesus and Peter. Betrayal and denial cross time and place, affecting you and me down to this very day. Centuries have passed. It will never be the night of Jesus’ arrest again. I will never be in the position of being queried in that courtyard. Yet, I have also betrayed and denied him. In less dramatic ways, to be sure, but betrayal and denial, nevertheless.

My mother’s statement again comes to mind: “In all relationships, there are thickenings and there are thinnings.”

I see this for sure in human relationships, seasons of growing closer, seasons of distancing. Faith relationships can be similar, face the same hazards.

This brings to mind something I read this week. In the small book The Way of Love: Turn, Chapter 3 is titled “How Do I Practice Following Jesus?” The author writes: “The resurrection reflects God’s promise to keep coming back to be in relationship with humanity, even in the face of rejection. God committed to loving people one more day. This is grace.”

I am in a relationship with God, a relationship subject to the same thickenings and thinnings as any other. My part calls me to vigilance, a continual turning back when I have betrayed, an ongoing re-commitment to the Object of my love. God’s part in the relationship? Well, God’s part’s been done. God brought grace to the table, enough to last a lifetime.

Mtr. Mary
...while Fr. Peter is away.