Fr Robert Hendrickson

Dear Friends,

In two weeks I leave for Nepal for a short vacation. I’ve always been fascinated by Nepal - with its rich mix of cultures, awe-inspiring scenery, varied mix of cultures, and more. I’ve wanted to go for 20 years and am getting this trip as a birthday present for which I’m deeply grateful.

Thinking about the trip had me thinking about a critical moment in my faith journey. When I was coming out of the period during which I thought myself a convinced atheist I was living in China. I was confused about what I was and who I was and just what I felt about matters spiritual. I went on a long trek in the foothills of the Himalayas in Yunnan province. I journeyed along staying at monasteries and guest houses along the ancient pilgrimage route.

At each stop I would be taken in by the gracious hospitality of Buddhist monks and nuns. I was transfixed by the depth of the tradition. I was drawn into the richness of the life of worship and prayer. The chanting and incense and thrumming of the horns and more created a dizzying mix of ancient allure and suddenly there was a sense of home in a far away land. Not home because it was familiar but home in the sense that its utter remoteness was rooted in timeless, fervent devotion to seek deeply. I wanted that search to be my home.

I had a conversation with a monk toward the end of the trip and I said, “Maybe I’m Buddhist?”

He replied quickly, “You cannot be.”

I thought to myself, this is why they’re rubbish evangelists! I then asked why. He replied, “You cannot become something new until you’ve made peace with the old.” I had told him my story of pain and hurt at the loss of my mother and sister, of my anger at the way the Church of my youth had so superficially glossed over the pain of a young boy, of my frustrations with contemporary Christianity.

But you cannot become something new until you’ve made peace with the old. So I came home and found the Episcopal Church. I’ve found a home. I’ve made peace with the old and I hope and pray that if you have some old hurt or pain or need to forgive or be forgiven that you can make peace. That you can make peace so that you become defined not by the hurt but can be shaped and defined by the joy of finding new hope.

Yours in Christ,

Robert