Justin Appel

Dear Friends,

This morning's psalm is a plaintive reminder of the tremendous burden our sins produce in our daily existence. David poignantly declares that his sins have become a burden, a wound, leaving him in a state of weakness and in pain. Sound familiar?

Read Psalm 38 here.

This psalm brings home couple of truths, which I will briefly mention here.

In the first case, a reminder that in some sense, the crushing psychological and even physical pain we feel as the result of our transgressions, is a gift from God. David says, ‘your arrows have already pierced me, and your hand presses hard upon me’ (verse 2). The very fact that we feel badly when we act selfishly, when we argue spitefully, or when we use other people as means to our own ends: that resulting angst means that God loves us and continues to tug at our hearts. The greatest tragedy for any person would be the inability to feel anything in the chaos of disordered affections.

On the other hand, past regrets can themselves become the cause of our anxiety. We can investigate our past shame, as one priest put it, ‘like an archaeologist digging for historical artifacts that must be preserved.’

This kind of pain tends to be self-generating, and – at least in my own life – an indication that I am shirking transformation. After all, God cares about our future, not about the past. God looks with interest at our future efforts to journey ever closer with pleasure – like a father who rejoices in his child’s progress! Our sins, when confessed, are counted as nothing.

All of this tells us that we should spend our time confessing our sins and moving beyond them with humility towards a transformed life, a life marked by the creative expressions of God’s love and pleasure.

I need to be reminded of this every day.

Yours in Christ,
Justin