Mtr Kelli Joyce

1 When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion, *
then were we like those who dream.
2 Then was our mouth filled with laughter, *
and our tongue with shouts of joy.
3 Then they said among the nations, *
"The Lord has done great things for them."
4 The Lord has done great things for us, *
and we are glad indeed.
5 Restore our fortunes, O Lord, *
like the watercourses of the Negev.
6 Those who sowed with tears *
will reap with songs of joy.
7 Those who go out weeping, carrying the seed, *
will come again with joy, shouldering their sheaves.

-

Friends in Christ,

Pending any unforeseen changes, this Psalm will be the Psalm appointed for use at the ordination service we will host this December. Alison and I will be ordained on the Feast of Saint Thomas, and this is the Psalm for that feast, which is interesting to me. I often wonder about which readings are chosen to go with various feast days, and why.

I imagine that this Psalm was chosen for the much-maligned “doubting” Apostle because of its last two verses. Rather than characterizing Thomas by his supposed unbelief, I would choose to characterize him by his profound love for Jesus, and the sorrow and fear that Christ’s suffering and death put within his heart. It is Thomas who, when Jesus insists on going to Jerusalem (the headquarters of his enemies), says “let us go and die with him.” No optimism, to be sure, but these are not the words of a bitter cynic - they are the words of someone who knows when their teacher’s mind cannot be changed, and yet cannot even imagine abandoning him.

We, too, sow with tears. We witness tragedy and loss and situations that seem (and perhaps are!) totally out of our control and hopeless. But like Thomas, we must keep pressing forward - we cannot quit, or retreat to somewhere safer to nurse our wounds. As we weep, we must also carry seed out to field. That is faith - continuing to show up; continuing to do the unglamorous work in the midst of crisis and pain.

The Lord is faithful - and I truly believe that our mouths will again one day be filled with laughter and joy. And so we must have, amid our struggles, the faith that looks not like certitude, but like perseverance.

In peace,
Mtr. Kelli