From the Rector
Dear Friends in Christ,
One of the things I’ve discovered about myself over time is that I’m much faster to enter into deep conversation with someone than to do small talk. I’ve always admired people who could chat about weather or sports or the like at the drop of a hat. That’s never been one of my great skills.
I do, however, find that I enjoy conversations about deeper things and tend to get much less anxious about deep conversations than small talk. Of course, people like to chat with clergy about just about everything, so you go where the conversation takes you!
The other morning I was waiting for a guest at breakfast. I had a collar on—which isn’t always the case. I often put it on as I arrive at the office so that when I do kid drop offs at school I can be “Dad” instead of “Father.”
The busboy at the table said, “Hello! I’ve been here three years and never seen a priest in a collar here! That’s so cool!” We ended up having a really wonderful conversation about faith and how he was trying to find a way to connect with God again after not being back to church in a while. It was obvious he was eager and excited to talk with someone about spiritual questions and at a deep level.
In a culture where so much seems superficial, I think people are starving for deeper conversations about meaning and purpose. It feels like we’re saturated with information and starving for wisdom. I don’t think I had any great wisdom to share with him but perhaps in the act of going deeper together some kind of wisdom emerged.
It was a good reminder to me that people need to see the Church and Christians out in the world ready to engage in the realities of daily life—not just on Sundays—and keeping pace with people’s daily lives.
How many deep conversations about faith have you had recently? Sometimes I find that I’m having many of them and sometimes I can’t remember the last time I had one. The common denominator in both times of scarce deep interactions and times where there are many of them is me. How I show up in those places and spaces determines the quality and depth of those conversations.
I don’t think people need us to show up as experts so much as listeners. This is at the heart of spiritual direction, pastoral care, and more. Our Christian task is less to proclaim the Gospel than it is to live it—to be present as living witnesses of the Good News evidenced by our openness, joy, and generosity.
Maybe it’s because I’m coming off sabbatical, but when I met the busboy, I wasn’t in the usual busy-hunched-over-crouch that sends a clear “do not disturb” message with body language. Maybe I was more open, maybe the busboy was just persistent, or maybe the Holy Spirit showed up for both of us so we could be Good News to each other.
As you go out this week or welcome people in, are you able and willing and ready to go deeper with folks? Are you able to make space for the Good News? I’m not always but I will try to be more attentive to opportunities for it to happen. Maybe that will start with small talk, maybe we’ll just jump right into something deeper. Who knows? But whatever comes, I think God delights in our fumblingly articulate attempts to speak the truth that is in us in so many different ways.
Yours in Christ,
—Fr Robert