Kyle Kim-Hays

EDITOR’S NOTE: A church community is created when people gather together for the love of God. At the same time, Saint Philip’s is comprised of many people who represent different ages, life experiences, and world views.

The “In conversation…” series is one attempt to create possibilities for connection between the different people in our community. As varied as we all are, there are also similarities and mutual interests waiting to be discovered. And there is one thing we all share: a desire to know God and be in relationship with him.

This week’s conversation is with Saint Philip’s parishioner and volunteer, Kyle Kim-Hays.

How long have you worshiped at Saint Philip’s?
My husband, Brian, and I started attending in July of 2023—one month after we moved to Tucson from South Orange, New Jersey. 

How did you find your way here?
Brian grew up in Tucson and remembered that his paternal grandparents were married here in 1944. That made us curious to visit.

The other reason we came to Saint Philip’s was because we didn’t fear getting the cold shoulder treatment. I visited the website and saw a post on LGBTQ+ inclusion. That gave us confidence that we would be welcomed. And we were!

What might people be surprised to learn about you?
That I was homeless as a youth.

My home wasn’t safe; I don’t remember a time when I wasn’t physically abused. And it got worse as I got older.

I was finally removed from my parents and placed in a group home for children. That situation presented different—yet equally devastating—threats so I left. That’s when I began to live on the streets. It’s also when I stopped going to school.

And now you’re a successful professional with a family. How did you manage that?
With lots of help from very generous people.

It was a church ministry that helped get me off the street. I accepted Christ and became a Christian when I was 17 years old.

I then went to a local community college because I knew I wanted to make a life for myself and needed schooling to do that.

It was a process. My application to transfer to a four-year university was rejected a few times. Then I managed to get wait-listed. I was relentless so I think I wore the admissions office down because I was finally accepted.

Now I have two undergraduate degrees and an MBA.

What makes you feel like you belong to this community?
Aside from the genuine welcome we’ve received, it’s being involved.

One of the first things I did was volunteer to be an usher. It’s a wonderful way to meet people and begin to recognize faces (which is important because I’m horrible with names).

How else are you involved?
I volunteer with Senior Youth when needed, and right now, am planning Saint Philip’s Angel Tree event.

What is the Angel Tree project?
It’s a program sponsored by Prison Fellowship Ministries. Volunteers organize a Christmas party and purchase and wrap gifts for children on behalf of their mothers and fathers who are in prison. It’s been around for over 30 years.

Saint Philip’s Angel Tree party will be on Sunday, December 8. We have some volunteers already helping plan the event but more are needed. Please email me at k2hays@gmail.com!

What inspires you to do this?
I do it for everyone who helped me. These are kids who have the deck stacked against them. And although I wasn’t in the same situation they are, I was disenfranchised. So whenever there’s an opportunity for me to engage and support youth who are starting in the hole, I try to do that. I want to show them that it’s possible to build a life.

What do you do professionally?
I have a start-up AI company and to pay the bills I work as a finance, technology and strategy consultant.

What does your start-up do?
You know the calls where someone tries to sell you something? People hate to receive them and the people making them rarely do it for long because it’s so unpleasant to be yelled at or have the phone slammed in their ear. And yet the phone calls continue because they do create sales.

My company has created software to make those calls. Right now we’re working in the investment banking sector and with other tech companies.

What do you do to relax?
I love to read. Lately I’ve been into Elizabethan biographies.

What’s something you’re proud of?
Our children. (We have twins who are seven years old.) In addition to how wonderful they are, I’m proud that Brian and I started a family. It’s not always an easy proposition generally and, for same-sex couples, it can be even harder.

What’s one of your guiding principles?
Humility. I think that a lot of times when I go off-track it’s because I think someone else is doing something wrong. Remembering to be humble let’s me recognize that I could be the one doing something wrong.

My parents were immigrants who were dirt poor; I was born in South Central Los Angeles. Remembering where I came from reminds me that I have no business not being compassionate or humble.

What’s something you find challenging?
Being patient. But striving to understand someone else’s perspective, and wanting to be a good parent help with that.

I’ll watch our kids trying to solve a problem, and see they’re not approaching it correctly. But I’ve learned to just sit back and let them figure it out. That lets them discover how to be persistent and that they’re more capable than they might initially think.

What’s something you’re grateful for?
The first thing that comes to mind is Christ and the God of Second Chances. My favorite verse is Lamentations 3: 22-23: “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”

What’s one of your super powers?
I’m really good at seeing the big picture and because of that I’m really good at problem solving. I’m able to walk people through the different steps involved and invite them to consider approaches they sometimes haven’t identified.

What’s something you haven’t done…yet?
I would love to run the Iron Man Triathlon in Hawaii. Before the kids came along I was a runner and did a half-marathon. But now I don’t have the time to train. I love the idea of harnessing that fighting spirit and accomplishing something like that against all odds.

What’s a fun fact about you?
I’ve lived on three continents (North America, Europe, and Asia) and lived in seven countries.

Missed an interview? All previous interviews can be found on Saint Philip’s website under the “About Us” tab. Click here to visit that page.