Anti-racism thoughts

EDITOR’S NOTE: Deacon Joan Crawford responded to an invitation from Saint Philip’s in the Hills to examine the dynamics of anti-racism on January 16-January 17. We include here two reflections offered in response to the weekend. First, from Dr. Renee Clift; and second, from Mtr Mary Trainor, who shares her view of what’s next.

Dr. Renee As a White, Southern-born woman I have long known of racism and racist behaviors. But until I got older and began to read Beverly Tatum and others, I had never really thought about systemic racism. I had not thought much about my own, privileged complicity. Last weekend, Deacon Joan Crawford helped me see, with even greater clarity, that complicity. With words, music, art, and prayer she encouraged to me to confront my past, present, and future. Equally importantly, she gave positive, concrete suggestions for individuals, for me, to change. Thank you, Deacon Joan.

Mtr. Mary A number of participants in the weekend anti-racism program have since reflected that they, like I, found the experience exhausting.

Yes, it was a lot of Zoom time, that’s for sure. But to be fair, I think that’s only a small part of the exhaustion. When a group of white people gathers to hear about racism from an African American woman, I feel some tension. Maybe you do, too.

I found the weekend meaningful and came away feeling a call to something more. What? I am still listening for clarity. But I have taken a next step. That’s what I want to share.

Our presenter suggested to us that an important step—should one wish to take it—is for white people to find an African American friend or mentor. She offered ideas on how to meet prospective friends and mentors. For example, think of something you are already interested in, and find an affinity group. Knitting, baseball, musical instrument, and so on. If you find an African American person there with your same similar interest, there’s the possibility of a friendship centered on that.

Another way might be to seek out someone you know already and deepen that friendship, maybe to the point where eventually you and your friend can talk about matters of race.

I chose the latter way. My mentor/friend and I will begin our conversations some time in February. But here is what I want to share with you: I am quite anxious about how this could go. Why? Having been in the Sunday afternoon anti-racism book discussion for nearly eight months now, I understand more—not enough, mind you-- about the notion of systemic racism. I have come to accept that I have residual presuppositions from being raised in a racist culture. How could I not? It’s embedded in so much around me. I was reared by two Southerners, and formed with their words in my ears, if only their slang names for African Americans and other racial/ethnic groups. Don’t get me wrong. My parents also instilled many positive ideals in me, albeit in a larger context of seeing some people as better, more deserving, than others.

So now I am taking on an intentional relationship with someone who I hope will help me recognize levels of prejudice within me. For me to even say I am a racist is hard. But it is much more comfortable than having another person confront me with that difficult awareness. Part of me wants to stay in my safe little cocoon where I don’t have to see my flaws. But at this point in my life I have chosen to confront the obstacle to seeing others as God sees us all, made in God’s own image.